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| 06:31pm 08/10/2007 |
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oh hey livejournal. things i haven written in in for ever ever ever im drunk at 6:31 on a monday thoughts? i dont think i have a prolem.... this is what happens when you hate hatehate school. loooooooove kathy ps. liza's the ;only one who's going to read this. ut i dont care |
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| 11:02am 02/09/2007 |
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this weekend has been bizarre. and its not even over. on friday night i spent my time eating a lot of chinese and watching tv in the dark, only to be invited to drink next door by my very dressed up suitemate (who was also yielding cake). needless to say i declined, because of my aforementioned activities as well as my desire to watch peter cottontail (which is fucking amazing). saturday i spent most of the day playing my "mystery p.i." free download that is really addictively fun. and i feel like im improving my memory skills, so thats always good. i also went downtown where i bought kavelier and clay (because of the combined reasons that i wanted to read it, it was $5 and seth cohen's favorite book). i also toyed with the idea of buying madame bovary for almost all of the same reasons, except i didnt want to read it and it's summer roberts' favorite book. i then drank a free sierra mist and listened to a band named junk science sing a song titled "made into a bowl" which is about a record being made into a bowl. i then ran away from this scene, because i could no longer hold in my laughter. i then went to dinner, where emily met a boy at the salad bar over distinguishing salad dressings (from now on to be referred to as "greek salad"). we then watched knocked up with him, and he invited us to the rugby party. i (for once) decided to get out of my pajamas and be social, so we ended up walking to this party, deciding it was really sketchy (this atmosphere was added by the fact that there were sirens wailing in the near distance) and just walked back.
these are just a few of the reasons why i hate this school. which sounds silly, but to me it isnt. when i was explaining to emily why i wanted to transfer yesterday (a. yeah i told her and b. i did a horrible job explaining my motives) all i could focus on was how this place wasnt for me and i missed home. emily kept saying stuff about how a "normal" college experience wasnt for her, which i now realize that she was implying that one of those wasnt for me either. i guess anyway. maybe she really was just talking about herself and not trying to get me to realize (apparently shes on my mother's team) that i actually am happy here.
i think the perfect close to this weekend is some severe kathy-kathy time (emily is working some latin festival and kyle is home, and lydia just disappears constantly) and not really leaving my room until i have to. (aka to go to the gym and for brunch, two things i really cant live without. slash i didnt work out yesterday and if i dont today my heart will probably fall out of my chest in basketball on monday.) |
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| 11:09pm 24/08/2007 |
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this better fucking work.
i cant be there without it |
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| 08:34am 28/04/2007 |
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so i got up at 8 today, which is very sad since its the weekend. but i figured when im home for about 10 days i can sleep in there. a whole whole lot. except that i wont be able to. and then ill be at camp, where i wont sleep at all. whatevs. i gotta get shit done. it takes FOREVER to make flashcards. so long that i havent been able to actually USE any of them. stupid finals. i dont want to do themmmmm. and two a day sounds particularly yucky. especially my last day which is bio AND chem. double gross. whatever ill get through. i also have to pack today which is kinda exciting. as much as a pain in the ass it is, i kinda enjoy packing. well, once ive organized everything. i hate the beginning because i never know where to begin. scary. ok, i should really stop procrastinating now. and go get my laundry. |
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| life is good |
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| 07:57am 20/04/2007 |
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mood:  excited
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im so excited right now, i couldnt even sleep. this hasnt happened for awhile, but im going with the flow. Reasons:
1. I'M GOING TO DC TONIGHTTTTTT. i have no idea how im going to get through the day. well, mostly because in my down time i have to pack/launder my entire wardrobe, so that might take up some time. but my classes are going to be hellacious, especially history because im going to be nervous about getting my paper back the whole time. i dont think i did bad on it, but i just dont think i did good either. which is soooooooo lame. but whatevs.
2. Annie is coming to dc tonight! she was supposed to, then wasnt, then was. there was a lot of emotional craziness when i found out annie wasnt coming, because 2 minutes before i found out about
3. aubrey is m&d dh!!!!!! dave really is perez hilton because he told me when i was on the phone with him, and the info was on my facebook wall. now THAT'S knowing your stuff. but im so so so excited because aubrey is really the only puddle person who im kinda good friends with. like, i know everyone else but we arent really friends.... you know? so i was really happy when she was like, we're rooming together yayyy! because now i wont feel all lonely and sad in the puddle world. woot.
god. what a downer, i just remembered lindsey bedell is boating dh. shudder. i dont know why, but i think i will always be scared of her. i dont even know why she scares me, but everytime i get within like, 10 feet of her i just get very nervous. but then i remember what smaloof said and i laugh "kathy, she's too dumb to be scary" HILARIOUS!
on that note, i will end with some random ims from eliza that make me f'realz lol and i must save them for this reason. enjoy.
x glimmershine x: last night i had a dream you were katie holmes
x glimmershine x: i was like "i can' tbelieve you never told me"
x glimmershine x: and you were like "Things aren't working out with tom"
x glimmershine x: and you were pregnant with someone else's child
x glimmershine x: you wer elike "you know how college is" |
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| venting a little... sorry |
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| 04:43pm 08/04/2007 |
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mood:  bored music: with or without you- keane cover of u2 (basically amazing)
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so this has possibly been the best easter EVER. im not even kidding. yet again i realize how much i love being alone. like, there was absolutely no one here this weekend and i thought i would be sad and lonely but ive just been having a really good time. like, not even kidding. all ive been doing really is going to the gym and watching tv and commentating to myself. its been a blast. and when i read that it sounds SO sarcastic but its really not. holidays are usually so bad because i have no family to really celebrate with. like, now that my sister and her kids moved away its really just my family and my grandma. so its just another day. and i think thats why this one has been so good because it IS just another day. theres no disappointment when you dont expect anything, which is something i find comfort in.
i really dont want kyle to come back and spoil my good times. which she will. i hate only having 3 friends here sometimes just because you cant get away from the stupidness. like, emily is kyle and mine's middle man and it drives me nuts. like, whenever i talk to her i have to censor what i say because i know she'll tell kyle. and she sees nothing wrong with this arrangement, which just drives me crazy. i have no idea what kind of messed up high school they came from where it was ok to behave like this. what happened to a nice secret? goooooooollly. though sometimes it is handy because emily tells me what kyle tells her since kyle never talks to me about anything important. which is annoying. like, im pretty sure shes just like "i dont trust easily" which is just a dumb cop out if you ask me. but at the same time she thinks im shallow or something and i cant handle an intense convo... whatever. and she always tells emily she thinks i hate her and how shes jealous that me and emily hang out all the time. when i told allison that kyle thinks i hate her she was like, well dont you? i dont HATE anyone, because when i think of hate i think of like, fire and brimstone kind of hate. like, i cant even think of anything else to compare it to. i dont HATE kyle, she just annoys me enough to make me want to peel off my own skin. what annoys me the most is her thinking i hate her when i clearly dont. they've never seen me angry and if they ever do then they will understand what dislike is. gah. its just so frusterating. and kyle has no right to be jealous of me and emily hanging out because when we do its when shes hanging out with matt, which is her own damn fault. i told emily this and she was like "well, she knows that but she doesnt know how to fix it" which is the dumbest thing i ever heard. stop being jealous, just because i hang out with someone more doesnt make me hate you, gah. ahhh im getting so irritated but sometimes i just need to vent. which is usually done to allison which is why she thinks i hate kyle because im always like DIE DIE DIE on the phone. life is so annoying sometimes. i have no idea how kyle can think i hate her. she told emily she was thinking about getting a new room mate next year and i was like, she has no idea what it means to have a bad room mate. not to toot my own horn, but if she left and got a helacious room mate she would understand how good i am to her. so im not always like, perky and stuff. its because i ultimately just like being by myself, nothing personal. next year will be better because we'll be living with emily and lydia, meaning kyle can have someone else to obsess about instead of me. life will be GRAND.
the unfortunate thing is that i have all this time to think about this stupid stuff because i have nothing else to do. its just annoying because i have to write a paper but first i have to see the stepford wives (1975 version) first in order to compare it to the book. and online it said the room was open at 4 but its really at 7. and it wasnt open AT ALL yesterday, and only until 5 on friday, which was too late anyway since at 5 i was at blockbuster trying to rent the damn thing. so when i could be writing this whole thing im just stuck. bah.
i also cant stop thinking about dc in two weeks!!!! it will be amazing just to see people i dont hate, basically. and it will be good to spend more time with annie since she's not going back. and everyone else, duh. and bffl!!!! because shes not going back either, the stupid jerk. and hopefully there will be drinking involved since i havent been drunk in forever and it will just be nice to be out of control for a while. and hopefully not throwing up... |
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| new icon, yo |
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| 08:39pm 29/03/2007 |
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lets all take some time to look at my icon. mostly because its the FUNNIEST THING EVERRRRRRRR. |
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| oh hey, 5 am |
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| 05:06am 18/03/2007 |
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so, if you have read the subject title, you know that im writing this at 5 am. on a sunday morning. why, you ask, am i up at 5 am on a sunday morning? am i going somewhere exciting, or have i just come home from somewhere exciting? no, not at all. i just cant fucking sleep. ive been up since 2:38 am. trying to sleep, and failing miserably. at first i was tired, but now im just not. and i have a bunch of homework to do so i was like, hey, i might as well get up. but this whole writing on livejournal thing really isnt getting work done, but its 5 am so i have bunches of time. i watched a sweet episode of the little mermaid this morning (2:30) and ariel brought home a baby killer whale "spot" and tried to keep him. hilarity ensued. it wasnt bad. fresh prince has been on ever since. i didnt want to turn off the tv because kyle isnt here, shes with matt at whitney's. not gonna lie, another motivation to get up was so i could nap during the day and not have to deal w/ kyle and matt. ew. another reason i dont want to turn off the tv is because i saw blood diamond last night and it freaked me the fuck out. like, i knew going in that it wasnt exactly going to be an upper, but it was really freaky. the first 3 minutes they lull you into this sense of security then BANG its taken away by a rebel group shooting up his village. i saw many people get shot, and a hand get chopped off. this was the first of many. i guess what made it so scary was that i know its real. and i feel like such a bad person for not wanting to think about it but that just makes it more real to me. yikes. anyway, the darkness makes me worried that that scary rebel dude w/ one eye (it got blown off when they bombed the mining camp, which was a good thing because he almost got the good guy's wicked huge diamond) is gonna pop out and like, gun me down. even though the good guy beat him with a shovel... which was also scary. AHHH THE MANWHICH COMMERICAL IS ONNNN. now the song will be in my head. bum bum bum. ok, i guess ill get some work done now. hopefully. |
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| 09:52pm 27/02/2007 |
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i hate stress. i really do. i just want life to be figured outtt. kate just invited me to go see death cab with her in nyc with em right before i go to camp. it would be fun, but i dont think its worth the pain it will cause. its so fucking annoying that my parents HATE one of my best friends. and i guess they have good reasons, some "mystery person" told them that kate was "using me for rides" when i was away jc summer, she has a dui among other bad parts of her reputation. but shes the only person from high school who i still talk to regularly other than allison. if she was just using me, how come she calls me every week? i miss seeing her and i love hanging with her but most of the time its just not worth the shit i get from my parents. they have a knack for grudges.
ok, im over it.
i think i did good on my chem test. and if i did, that means ill be doing better in chem than in bio. now thats crazy.
i blame all of my stress on the loss of the oc. and my apparent dyslexia, i just mixed up letters AND words in that last sentence. yikes. |
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| 09:33pm 25/02/2007 |
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i want to watch the fucking oscars. but we're watching harry potter. which comes on all the fucking time. i have it on dvd! i want to watch the oscarsssss. i cant wait to go home and be in charge of the tv. and not have to watch stupid crap all of the time. i love tv, but if theres nothing on TURN IT OFF. instead of watching the same show 80 kabillion times. i dont feel good. im probs not going to do well on my chem test. i just want this week to be over. AND I WANT MY CAMP LETTER! |
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| wompadelic |
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| 08:48am 25/02/2007 |
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mood:  stressed music: the air conditioner... even though its snowing its still on
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weird dream last night. only part i remember is that i was at a party and sara j was there with who was supposed to be gary, but totally was not.
i also got my camp letter and i was photo dh. if i was in a more optimistic mood, i would say this is a sign. but unfortunately i just think that since my letter is all i ever think about that it has finally crossed over into my dreams. womp.
also: snow? why is it doing that right now? it was 60 out this week. not anymore i suppose. and on a sunday? it didnt even have the decency to do it tomorrow for my chem test. how unfortunate. |
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| 12:15am 25/02/2007 |
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gah. what a waste of alcohol, i hate it when the jungle juice runs out earlyyyyyyy. though its starting to hit me now, so i probs should of stayed. oh well. it was fun for a little while. its nice that julie has friends from home here. my birthday is going to be in no way like that. mostly because i have 3 tests the week of my birthday (including one on) and 3 thw week eafter. gross. i stopped caring about my typing, ps. the jungle jice is coming and so my typing is gettting worse. and i stopped going back to fix it so i dont look like a cracy drunk . because you guys cont care because everyone looooooves to dunk live journal. i like how my firefocx has speel check and it doenst care about "cont" thats weif. because cont doesnt mean anythig. gahhhhhh.
so my "maybe" transferring has changed into a definite. i dont care if life will be hard, i want to work in tv and make great shows. i would love to write, but i can never thingk of a whole concept. i can just add on to a concept thats already there. i would be happy writing, procuceing, videotaping the fucking thing, who cares! it would make me happy, i just know. i dont care if its a hard life, i dont need money to be happy. although it would probs help.
uhh, i hate how jungle jucie makes you feel so fullll.
eliza: we're dringking when i come to visit you next week. because we havent been drunk together and thats a shame. also annie and ellie should come. fuck school, they should hang with us because neither of them are coming back to camp.
i cant wait to leave this placeeeeeeeee. too much stress. especially for next week. oh well, it will all be over soon... which sounds so fucking dramatic/ominous/like im going to kill myself.
which i will do if i dont get my fucking camp letter soon |
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| 01:38pm 23/02/2007 |
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um, should i be worried that i still dont have my camp letter? like, to the point where i should email camp? because i dont want to email karl and then get it like, the next day. although thats whats going to happen, but whatevs.
all this emotional business is seriously draining. i cant handle it. |
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| 10:32pm 20/02/2007 |
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GUESS WHO GOT THEIR CAMP LETTER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
everyone but me. its driving me crazy. i just want to knowwwww. hey, remember that time when i wrote like, this exact entry a while ago? not sure when, since my lj is telling me it was march 11th, which is impossible. but whatevs.
sum up of my life: school school school read read read study study mehhhhhhh
i cant wait for spring break. eliza and ellieeeeeeeeee. my life is empty until then. also because the oc ends on thursday, which will throw me into a dark and deep depression, which will only be held off by the obsessive watching of the seasons. so, i should be good for a good 3 days or so. womp. |
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| hi |
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| 05:55pm 18/02/2007 |
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so, school's good and everything. i like my new classes and stuff too. all my new teachers are really good. the two most major improvements are in chemistry and math, although there's no surprise there. my chem teacher is the mix between ben stein and dr. cox from scrubs. he looks kinda like ben stein, and he emphasizes his words like dr. cox. and hes a smart ass. but funny, so i like him. wicked sarcastic, so he basically speaks my language. my math teacher is really nice, and competant. shes probably the best math teacher ive EVER had, and ive only been to two classes so far.
i guess i just have to get back into the swing of things here. who thought i would miss home? not so much home i guess. it was just hard, because i was at camp and now im not, and i just miss all of the camp people. sometimes its hard only having two friends here. oh, and julie. so like, 2.5 allies. maybe i should work on that? nah, ill get used to it.
ive been thinking a lot about the future lately. but i can't figure out if not being a doctor is me being realistic or me running away from a challenge. i honestly don't think i can do it though. im not the science type. how great would it be to work in tv? or like, marketing or something? i think i could be great, maybe. ive already started to look at new schools... and i guess a new school is STILL less expensive than med school.
oh life. i wish i could just KNOW. is it so much to ask for a job that will make me happy?
"But I'm not ready to make that kind of commitment to a career that only vaguely intrigues me, because- for me- it's got to be all or nothing."
but only because chuck klosterman says so |
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| what? |
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| 08:17am 14/02/2007 |
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mood:  sleepy music: the air conditioner. yup, its still on.
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snowed yesterday. weird. because im in the south. im really not a fan of snow. i do like sledding, but after like, 20 minutes the snow gets all dirty and gross. and i hate how it looks after snow melts. everything is all soggy and the grass looks like it will never grow again. but we have a delayed opening, which means i have no freaking clue when i should go to class. bah. who starts at 9:30? why not 10? or even 9?
yesterday i also successfully rearranged the room. took advantage of kyle being away, although she came back like, right when we were finished and was like, i dont like it. and then shes like, "i dont know why kathy wanted to isolate me" and i just look around and was like, umm, you're on crack. her crack usage is signified also by the fact that she is again going out with her boyfriend, although they are "less serious than before". what does that even mean? it means that if he comes here, and i have to be in a room with him, i will kill him. and from watching the prestige, jail looks ok, but the hanging part sucks. the prestige was kinda good, but the big twist was obvious for like, 3/4 of the movie. upsetting.
i feel like there was more to say...
i have to bring lappy today. i really just wanted them to fix it, but nooooo. i have to go and bring it to them. if they try to keep it, i might tweak out. or, they'll fix it and then ill have aim again! wooooo.
also sam allison heard someone at his college use APG!, but it was a different person. not sure whether the context was the same, but i guess we should be wary of those initials... |
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| 12:00am 09/02/2007 |
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i almost told all of my secrets to the one person you don't tell your secrets to.
i blame tyler durden.
i am jack's insomnia |
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| 01:37pm 08/02/2007 |
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why haven't i heard from camp yet? its starting to make me nervous...
um, matty as unit 3 unit leader (or so he says in eliza's event) um, wasnt he program director once? isnt that weird, or is it just me. ummmmmmm ok. and the jc's know when theyre out of program, how handy is that?
im gonna start sleeping in the post office.
actually, that would be a really bad idea.
i just want to knowwwwwww |
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| 10:37pm 30/12/2006 |
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is it wrong that im extremely happy that my room mate broke up with her boyfriend?
didnt think so... |
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| ughhh |
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| 11:22pm 23/12/2006 |
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life. still doesnt feel like christmas. and im getting pissed at kyle right now because she ims me, doesnt even say hi, and just asks me how my grades are. she loves it when she does better than me. and shes not stealthy AT ALL. and im being super vague and i know its pissing her off. serves her right. i probs would have told her if she just asked me, instead of trying to be all indifferent about it. why should she care how i did? just so she can gloat on how shes a better test taker than i am? we've discussed this so many times, her school focused on test taking and mine on writing. big fucking deal. i dont plan on taking tests for the rest of my life, but i sure do plan to keep writing. so who wins, really?
anyway, ive been working like crazy. so annoying. stupid people buying their glitter infested things. last night was fun though, with the secret santa then molly's birthday. me and emily decided that the best part of the night was the drive there, and that its good that some things never change.
i hate complaining all of the time. i feel like such a jerk.
i want to go to the camp reunionnn. is anyone else going? i should take off work, just in case i guess.
i hope snl is new. ok, i hope snl is GOOD. such a difference. |
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